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I don’t mind being alone but I hate feeling lonely

In all honesty, I’m not sure if I even like being alone. It’s not something I’ve done since I was 16. There was always someone in my life. Finding a man was never hard for me.... but apparently keeping one is. This last time has been the hardest.... I fell hard and I fell fast. I knew after 3 days of talking for hours that he was the love of my life. I knew he was going to be my forever. Until he wasn’t... No one would believe all the road blocks we have had that have kept us apart. Some have been out of our control. Some have been completely in our control but we blew it. I blew it. Only a few times it’s been his fault. Mostly it’s been my fault. It’s my fault I’m not in his bed at this moment. It’s my fault my heart is broken. I know getting it out on paper is going to be healing for me. But I’m not sure I can bare to relieve our story.  Maybe tomorrow. Maybe the next day. Maybe next week. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, I will keep trying. I need to heal. I need to move on. I n